be 'other' centred

Practise saying YES !

2007-03-21T09:31:00.000-07:00

“Life cannot be lived through no, and those who try to live life through no simply go on missing life. One cannot make an abode out of no, because no is just empty. No is like darkness. Darkness has no real existence; it is simply the absence of light.

That’s why you cannot do anything with darkness directly. You cannot push it out of the room, you cannot throw it into the neighbor’s house; you cannot bring more darkness into your house. Nothing can be done directly with darkness, because it is not.

If you want to do something with the darkness, turn the light off; if you don’t want darkness, put the light on. But all that you have to do has to be done with light.
“In exactly the same way, yes is light, no is darkness. If you really want to do anything in your life, you have to learn the way of yes.

And yes is tremendously beautiful; just to say it is so relaxing. Let it become your very lifestyle. Say yes to the trees and the birds and people, and you will be surprised: life becomes a blessing if you are there to say yes to it.

Life becomes a great adventure.”

Osho ... from 'Zorba the Buddha'

A Sufi story ... as told by Osho

2007-03-21T09:11:00.000-07:00

A man was very much burdened by his suffering. He used to pray every day to God, “Why me? Everybody seems to be so happy, why am only I in such suffering?” One day, out of great desperation, he prayed to God, “You can give me anybody else’s suffering and I am ready to accept it. But take mine, I cannot bear it any more.”

That night he had a beautiful dream ÿ beautiful and very revealing. He had a dream that night that God appeared in the sky and he said to everybody,

“Bring all your sufferings into the temple.” Everybody was tired of his suffering — in fact everybody has prayed some time or other, “I am ready to accept anybody else’s suffering, but take mine away; this is too much, it is unbearable.”So everybody gathered his own sufferings into bags, and they reached the temple, and they were looking very happy; the day has come, their prayer has been heard.

And this man also rushed to the temple.And then God said, “Put your bags by the walls.” All the bags were put by the walls, and then God declared:

“Now you can choose. Anybody can take any bag.”And the most surprising thing was this: that this man who had been praying always, rushed towards his bag before anybody else could choose it!

But he was in for a surprise, because everybody rushed to his own bag, and everybody was happy to choose it again. What was the matter? For the first time, everybody had seen others’ miseries, others’ sufferings — their bags were as big, or even bigger!And the second problem was, one had become accustomed to one’s own sufferings.

Now to choose somebody else’s — who knows what kind of sufferings will be inside the bag? Why bother? At least you are familiar with your own sufferings, and you have become accustomed to them, and they are tolerable.

For so many years you have tolerated them — why choose the unknown?

And everybody went home happy. Nothing had changed, they were bringing the same suffering back, but everybody was happy and smiling and joyous that he could get his own bag back.In the morning he prayed to God and he said,

“Thank you for the dream; I will never ask again. Whatsoever you have given me is good for me, must be good for me; that’s why you have given it to me.”

Theart said ...

2007-03-07T06:17:00.000-08:00

Is it true that in a world of the 'Ego', the 'I' there is no place for the 'We'? If we look at the world order and see where the money is, then we must agree that it remains in the hands of the few. It remains within the sacred domain of the haves - and rightly so.

They have learned and mastered the art of the "Ego" the "I". So for them to actually be aware of the "We" remains impossible. It is the "Ego" the "I" which created, and still creates all the havoc in the world.

Fear of losing that makes people aggressive, hostile and non-compromising. Not only in business, but in politics and even academic performance. Until a few years ago this attitude of the "Ego" and "I" was a celebrated character trait. People who make the front cover of magazines are seldom a group. We celebrate individual achievements.

We look up to singular leaders. What has happened to the councils and the elders of old which led by consultation and the over all well being of the group? Boards of companies, shareholders? Parliaments and governments? Bullsh*t!

The corporate game is just that. A game where the fittest survive and where you stab me in the back as I step on your face to get the the next position of power.

When we learn to let the "Ego" and the "I" go, that's when we start to become what the Universe intended for us to be - part of the Light, part of the Magic, part of the infinite possibilities the Universe has in store for us.

Be other centered and the Universe will respond!

Love them the way they want to be loved.

2007-02-20T09:50:00.001-08:00

To this end, Gary Chapman in his book 'The Five Love Languages' explores just that. There is even a questionaire that you and your partner can complete to find out their love language/s.

‘Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English. No matter how hard you try to express love in “English”, if your spouse understands only “Chinese”, you will never understand how to love each other.

Being sincere is not enough. We must be willing to learn our spouse’s primary love language if we are to be effective communicators of love.

My conclusion after thirty years of marriage counseling is that there are basically five emotional love languages—five ways that people speak and understand emotional love. However, there may be numerous dialects. The important thing is to speak the love language of your spouse.
Communicating love isn’t as easy as feeling “in love,” because it’s quite a different thing.’ - Gary Chapman.

Once again being 'other' centerd is explored. Loving them the way they want to be loved. You could be sending flowers (ya right) and all she wants is for you to hang up the laundry.

Me me me I I I

2007-02-20T09:50:00.000-08:00

In a world of ‘me, me, me’ and ‘I, I, I’ we are on the verge of disaster. But this paper as its movement depicts is not about doom and gloom. Rather it’s about turning it all around starting with right here, right now, with you and with me.To describe the essence of - be ‘other’ centered, let us look at it’s opposite. That is; ‘self centered’. That which serves ME, my ideal (as exclusive from yours), and my group (as exclusive from yours).We need another paradigm. What if George Bush, Saddam Hussein, Bin Laden or Hitler were ‘other’ centered.What if all murderers and rapists and child abusers were ‘other’ centered rather than driven by immediate gratification and self-centeredness - that which serves ME, my ideal (as exclusive from yours), and my group (as exclusive from yours).

We need to think tribal - ly again. In 'I am', because 'you are' terms. 'Every man is an island', is a toxic way of looking at life and any wonder we have what we refer to as 'the human condition'. The human condition? Existential aloneness?

'We', is the only way that embraces me, and you, and the future generations that are going to have little resource to work with, and little natural product.

I say bring the old people out of the 'camps' and make them part of the home again.